I made the decision to begin a blog to document an amazing time in my life.  This blog is a way for me to:  try writing, cross a couple items off my bucket list, and most importantly, journalize the experiences that I want to remember (and some I’d probably like to forget).

When the kids were little, it seemed like life was just a race through every day to be sure they had everything they needed and to do work that I could be proud of. It was a constant juggling act and survival was the daily goal. I can’t undo the chaos of those years, and wouldn’t even if I could. But now, although my life seems to have the same hectic pace, I am beginning to find myself with more choices.

My boys are still my priority, and I consider myself a single mom, even though they are 25 and 17.

I recently read a blog post by Lauren Greutman at www.iamthatlady.com.  It was called “Why I suck at being a mom” (June 17, 2015), and it really resonated with me.

I have challenged myself to be the best me I can be.  I have vowed to take time to take care of me – learning Gluten Free meal planning that works for our family and making time to be fit, all the while being the best mom, daughter, friend and girlfriend I can be.

Lauren’s post really hit home when she said “I feel like I suck as a mom most days, because I take on too much….”  Lauren admits that she is a doer and a fixer (as am I).  When we try to be great-at-everything moms and great-at-our-jobs moms, we end up feeling like we are doing a bad job at both.  Our houses are typically a mess.  Many nights dinner is not home-cooked, there isn’t as much mom time as we’d like, the kids probably watch too much tv or play too many video games, and we suck!  We aren’t as kind as we’d like to be to our family and friends, and we don’t pray as often as we should. 

The reality of our worlds is that “We cannot be or do everything we’d like to.”  Rule number 16 relates to this quest for perfection – “Know how much you can accomplish in an hour, a day, and a week.”

My boyfriend explains to me that I am the glue.  The glue that holds our little piece of the world together.  Being the glue also brings a lot of pressure, and that pressure to hold everything and everyone together can make you ultimately feel like you suck! (because it isn’t totally possible and a lot is typically outside of our control)  My boyfriend is amazing because he understands this, reminds me of this, loves me unconditionally for who I am, and is there to help me give myself permission to not be perfect.

Lauren continues to list some things that she gives herself permission to “not be perfect in”, but right now I can be satisfied with just the realization.

As a mom, don’t you feel like other moms have it all together?  On her post, Lauren points out that  the struggle to “have it all together” is now more prevalent than in any other generation, because of the Internet and Pinterest.

While I am certainly not “Pinterest Perfect”, I can’t suck because I am the glue.